Perhaps it started with last year's 365 project here at Zenodotus and really started to take root during the month following the projects conclusion. Towards the end of the year, I was struggling to find tools that I thought readers may find valuable. What I loved was suddenly becoming work; but, the reward was knowing that 400 people a month were visiting and learning from what I had to share. When the project ended those numbers dwindled and it hit me, a blog is only as valuable as it's content and I was tapped out.
I started a mobile vlog instead that was supposed to share my thoughts and opinions about education and technology and I got about 3 episodes in and realized the model was neither viable or sustainable for me. Suddenly, because I wasn't sharing, I started to feel less valuable within the #edtech community at large. I actually thought about stepping away for a while and wondered if my voice would even be missed. But I didn't because the #edtech world changes so fast, I was afraid I'd miss something.
During the past few weeks I've been doing some serious introspection and have come to the conclusion that one of two things must happen. Either I need to go back to school and get a Masters degree in Educational Technology which should bring some structure back to the chaos that is my passion or I need to change careers entirely. Up until a few hours ago, I was heavily leaning towards the latter.
Then, earlier today, like I shimmering beacon of hope on a cluttered white board, I read something I had scribbled down some time ago: "I can. I will, I am". I tweeted it out as a hastag #IcanIwillIam and asked people to Retweet if they figured out what it meant and liked it. Then came the moment of clarity from my good friend Jen Wagner who I have mentioned many times here at Zenodotus . She would only share the hashtag, if she could add the phrase "I did", with the bonus of "and begin again."
Of course! At that moment, I realized I never had taken a second to reflect on or celebrate my accomplishments from last year. I DID accomplish a nearly impossibly 365 blogging goal. I DID orchestrate a successful 6 month Project Based Learning for Professional Development endeavor at my district. I DID present more sessions and workshops at conferences this year than in the past. I DID continue to learn and grow with colleagues and peers. OK, so that sounds a bit trite and perhaps a little conceited, but Duh! I wonder why I'm feeling a bit burnt out?! This last year has been a whirlwind to say the least and I hadn't taken the time to think about where I'd been before starting up again.
I still have decisions to make. But, I can now make them with a renewed sense of purpose. I still have a number of projects in the fire. I am authoring a book about building professional learning networks, I am hoping to re-vitalize Webtopia.tv in the coming weeks and am hoping to get Teachertechacademy.com up and running by this summer.
#IcanIwillIamIDid I love what I do and I am blessed to have colleagues who remind me of that once in a while, so that like a phoenix from the ashes - I can "begin again"!